I like talking in videos more than I like writing. Which doesn't make sense as to why I have a blog. I often ask myself, "Why do you still have a blog when all you do is post videos? Isn't that what a YouTube channel is for?" So go check out my YouTube channel, and watch this video to see my little update!
Did you know that sometimes God answers prayers by placing specific people in your life? I would know because he placed someone very special in mine.
About 6 months ago I noticed this guy posting the most adorable stuff in the Waiting For a Missionary page on facebook. I would comment on them and that's how we started talking. This just so happened to be during a time that I really needed some answers in my life. And it just so happens that that's when Jordan and I became friends.
At first I thought he was just an awesome missionary boyfriend who liked to talk a lot, play guitar/sing, and watch New Girl. But then I started to realize that he was someone special in my life. I remember one day very vividly. I had been crying all day, and praying for an answer that I needed to a question that I'd had for a very, very long time. Jordan didn't know anything about what was going on. That night he texted me, and what he said was the exact answer that I was hoping for.
God places people in our lives for specific reasons, and during specific times. I believe I met Jordan exactly when I needed to. And I know that for a fact.
A couple days ago, Jordan found out that he gets to return to his mission in California in just 3 days. He had previously been sent home due to some serious medical issues, and is now SO excited to be able to return. The happiness of Buddy The Elf doesn't even some up how happy I am for him. He's wanted this for so long.
When I got the text during class saying that he'd be able to return, I was all:
And then I realized he'd be leaving and I wouldn't have him to talk to 24/7 anymore. My reaction quickly changed..
Let me explain. One thing that makes my friendship with Jordan so special is that he fulfills that 24/7 support and comfort that I always got from Jared. Of course I still turn to Jared for mostly everything, but when I can only hear from him once a week, that it makes it a little harder. And Jordan is the only person who has been able to do that in such a way that Jared would. And whenever I was having a tough day, or wished I could just talk to Jared, Jordan was the one who would remind me how much Jared loves me, and how proud Jared is of me. So it's almost like I was hearing it from Jared himself. I know that doesn't make much sense but it makes sense in my head.. Basically, I'm just insanely grateful for him.
The thing that's hardest for me is having to say goodbye... I can't handle saying goodbye to people I love anymore.. Saying bye to Jared was the hardest thing I've ever done. But now I have to say bye to the person I became closest with since Jared left? Not cool :(
I don't think Jordan realizes how much I look up to him, and the wonderful example that he is to me. He truly is one of the best people I've ever met. Hands Down. His heart is so pure, and full of love. I hope someday to be more like him. He faces trials that no one should have to face. And yet, he always comes out stronger. He really is one of the strongest, most faithful people I know. And more than anything, he's like the big brother that I always wanted. I have been blessed with a brother at this time in my life when I needed one most. And I can't describe how grateful and blessed I feel to have the best "brother" ever.
I know that he is going to return to the mission field and be the best missionary that mission has ever seen.
Although my heart is breaking, and many tears have been shed, and I don't want to say goodbye, I know our friendship will always be there. I know that we're best friends for life. I know God placed him in my life for a reason. And I know that I'll see him again.
I'm about 4 days late this with this post. But I figured better late than never, right?
My love, my sweetheart, my other half has been gone for 10 months! The fact that we're finally in double digits kinda makes my head hurt. I'm finally getting to that stage where I catch myself thinking, "I swear he just left..."
During this last month I moved back to Hawaii. Which is where Jared and I met, exactly 2 years ago this month. So I'm constantly feeling like we just barely met here a year ago. When really, it's been two. Which just goes to show that time really does fly by.
I've been really struggling with being here without him. The place we met. The place where my life completely changed. The place where I fell in love with the man of my dreams. I see him everywhere and in everything. We spent the first 6 months of our relationship here on the beach, at the temple, on campus, and just loving the fact that we finally found each other. We both knew something was missing in our lives. We just didn't know what. Until we met each other <3
Safe to say I fall more in love with him every single day.
Sometimes I think to myself, "Dang, I'm glad I don't have to worry about getting letters every week from my missionary. That must be hard always dealing with the anxiety of wondering if it'll arrive on the day you expect, or constantly checking the mailbox. Sure glad I don't have to deal with that."
Or, "Email chatting must be so hard.. Cuz you're constantly having to say 'bye' again." It's crazy to think though that those are all things I wanted SO desperately at one time.
Being a missionary girlfriend is all about perspective.
I can't emphasize that enough.
I like to think that I've had enough experience with this whole "waiting" thing to understand it a lot better than I did in the beginning. It's true, when Jared stopped writing letters every week it was hard. I got really sad. But I accepted it and made not receiving letters the new "normal" for me. And you know what? That made all the difference. I was able to change my perspective into a positive one. I decided that not getting them every week is almost like a blessing. I don't get anxious about checking the mail, I don't worry about what day it might show up, etc.. Now whenever I get a letter, it's an amazing surprise! My perspective completely changed. But it's not something that just happens. It's something you need to sit down and decide, "I am going to feel this way about this situation" and then work on it. Every single day.
I challenge you to pray and ask the Lord to help you view hard situations differently. I promise you He will. He wants you to be happy! But He wants you to do your part. It's okay to have those hard days that we all have every once in a while. Just the other night I spent in my bed with ice cream while watching A Walk to Remember and missing my sweetheart more than anything. That's fine. That's perfectly healthy. But if that's what you're doing all the time? Somethings gotta change or you are going to be miserable, and honestly? Your man might not even want to be with you when he gets home. Yeah, I just said that. It's SO important for us to be growing, and more important, for us to be happy. Happy people are the people who change the world :)
It's easy to say, "Well it's so hard to be happy when .......... is happening" but it's also easy to change your perspective.
When I started to change my perspective about not getting to email chat, not receiving letters or packages often, etc is when I saw the most blessings in my life. We had a lesson in relief society where they challenged us to pray and ask Heavenly Father to be able to see more blessings in our lives. And oh my gosh, it worked beyond what I imaged! My life has never felt so full of blessings, and so beautiful. The more you recognize your blessings, the more your trials and struggles will seem smaller and smaller.
The Power of Re framing Situations:
It's true that there are some missionary girlfriends who spend the whole two years trying to figure out how to get by without having their man there. The girls who don't know how to be happy without them. I was one of those girls at one point. But then there are the girls who know how to enjoy life, actually enjoy the wait, and wake up happy and ready to go out and change the world as best they can. I always wanted to be one of those happy girls. And although I'm still working on it, I know I'm definitely headed down that road because of the change in perspective I made. The power of re framing things cannot be overstated. There can be two girls, doing the exact same thing, same activity (not receiving letters, not getting along with his parents, not being able to be happy, etc..) But one of them feels sad or depressed, and the other one - with just a small change in perspective, feels wonderful.
Now one might ask, "Well how do I help myself change my perspective?" Well, there are lots of different ways.
What Should You Do?
Don't talk about what makes you sad. If you don't receive letters often, don't vocally voice it. It's been proven that what you call your struggles actually effects how you react to them.
Literally change the way you think about "waiting." I don't even like that word. I like to say, preparing. For example, say you're driving and you come up to a toll crossing and have to pay a decent amount of money just to cross and continue on your way. It could be easy to get upset and wonder why you need to pay money to the government just to help with stupid things that don't effect you, like public transportation or something. Now lets pretend the toll booth on the very left is an express lane. You have to pay twice as much to go through, but all the money you pay goes to a charity of your choice. More people are likely to chose the one that gives to charity, even though they're paying more money. Now what's my point with this example? Everyone still has to pay to get through the toll crossing. But the perspective on where their money is going to is what makes the difference between happy people and upset people. Now apply this principal to our "waiting" or I like to say, "preparing" process. Look at WHY you support your missionary. WHY he's out there serving, and the more you think about that, the more you realize what it is he's truly doing, it becomes that much easier to be happy and see it as a blessing more than as a sacrifice.
Don't. Get. Discouraged. I'm not saying to run around and dance like a fairy all the time because life is so good. It's totally normal to have those bad days, like I said. But when things that normally get you discouraged start happening more than once, don't let yourself keep getting down. Remember that there's always a better way to look at the situation. Here's a wonderful example :)
I'd just like to end with these two videos because I think they're pretty great :) I just want to reiterate that YOU have the power to change the way you think and react to what might seem like trials or struggles. I think sometimes the Lord hands us what we might think is a trial. I like to imagine the Lord handing me a lump of clay. At first it looks impossible. "What am I supposed to do with this? That other girl got a barbie. And I got a lump of clay?" I might ask. But the Lord might just want to see what I come up with and how to handle the "trial." I could sit there and cry about having clay and no barbie, or I could get out my tools, and create the most beautiful sculpture :) and if it's not beautiful? At least I will have tried. Because it's my clay. My sculpture. And I can do whatever I want with it. The Lords plan is always better than our own, and sometimes His plan looks a lot like a lump of clay. How I use it, and what I do with it, is all up to me. We all only get one lump of clay. How will you look at yours?
Finally,
Pray to Heavenly Father and ask him to be able to see more blessings in your life, and ask for help to change your perspective about hard situations. He will help you.
You could live life like this:
or by changing your perspective, you could live like this:)
Happy Holidays!!! :)
I've been working on these Open When letters for a couple weeks now. I had about 15 ideas written down but I only ended up doing 8 because it's finals week and the end of the semester is just too busy. And I'm such a perfectionist and if I know I don't have the time required to make them as good as I want them to be, I just won't even try haha. With that being said, I can't believe it's the end of the semester already! My mind is blown. Time flies. Is anyone else wondering how the heck this semester went by so quickly? Christmas is in 20 days!! I get to (hopefully) be there to Skype my sweetheart in only 20 days! And then, I leave for Hawaii in 27 days! I've been counting down to those two dates so much lately that I haven't even looked at my Jared countdown. I've found that counting down to little events along the way helps soooooo much.
Anyway! Here are the letters I did for this package. Keep in mind, I will be sending more eventually :)
Open When...
You get this package
You're going to sleep
You're bored
You need to be reminded how much I love you <3
You need a laugh :)
On New Years Eve!
You're sick
You had a hard day/Need motivation
I also put some items inside the envelopes along with the letters. If you want to see some of the cool stuff I put in the letters, you can watch this video :)
I'm really excited for him to open them :) I'll be posting soon about everything I sent him for Christmas.
I've said "this month has been the fastest yet!" before. But seriously, this time, it's for real. Yesterday I was going out to dinner with my family because I'm home for fall break. And as I was talking about Jared I realized that today would be seven months down and I was so surprised because I forgot! Usually I'm counting down the days till we hit the next month mark. This time it just totally surprised me. This month flew by. But isn't that to be expected? It's October :) The beginning of the best season, and best time of year! October, November and December are in my opinion, the fastest/best months of the year. And because of that, I'm really excited for the next few months :)
Here are some pictures I took to celebrate today :)
I love my sweet missionary SO much!! And honestly? The waiting part isn't even hard. The not dating other people part? Piece of cake. Not getting to hear from him every day? Eh, I got used to it. Waiting isn't that hard. I'd wait forever for him. Yeah it's hard not having him here when I'm having a bad day. Or, when I need someone to talk to. Or when I just want to cuddle and forget about the rest of the world. But the actual waiting part? Not that hard, because I know who I'm waiting for :)
I am so freaking excited. I'm writing this post a bit late, but I still figured I'd write it. On September 20th Jared hit his 6 month mark! Finally. It's about time. It definitely feels like it has taken forever to get to this point, but I'm just glad we're finally here :) I can testify that the first six are by far the hardest. So if you are in the first 6 months right now, just remember to look up, and know it will get easier :) I promise! So in my opinion, this is how the timeframe has broken down for me.
Months 1-3:
So slow. So hard. But I at least got letters during the first two. I really struggled with learning how to live without him during these months. But can ya blame me? It's a major adjustment to make.
Month 4:
A definite change from months 1-3. Went a lot faster and I finally starting learning how to be okay and happy without him here. My testimony also grew a ton during this month.
Month 5:
Fastest month yet! I couldn't believe how fast it went. This month I realized and learned how to turn being sad, and missing him, into something positive. If any of you would like me to write a post about how I did that, let me know. I also realized that this time is about him, not me. It's all about him. And when you put it in that perspective, you won't be as sad about not getting letters or emails. But ultimately, month 5 has been the fastest and easiest yet :)
Awesome stuff that's happened during these 6 months:
Jared has his first baptism in his first area! :)
Jared was made District Leader in his second area :)
He was able to meet Elder Ballard
He has been able to become (in my opinion) completely fluent in Italian. Sometimes now he struggles to speak English... :)
I was able to spend the summer teaching English in Italy and Austria
I received a calling as Sunday School teacher and I love it!
I finally bought a nice camera and have started developing my passion for photography :) (a good thing to do while your mish is gone is develop talents and passions that you've always had but never done)
My family moved to Provo :) (right across the street from the MTC)
I got accepted to return to BYU-Hawaii in January :)
I've met some amazing people who have made this wait such an easier process :) Ya'll know who you are ;)
There's a lot of other experiences I've had these 6 months that have just strengthened my testimony, and also my love for Jared. I wouldn't change a thing :)
Here's my 6 months celebration video :)
(don't judge the cheesiness of it. I'm a cheesy person, what can I say)
Jared's birthday was July 2nd, but I realized I never wrote a post about the package I sent! So here it is :) I sent it from here in Italy, with only items that I brought over from America. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, all he could say was "American snack food" haha so this is what he got :) Some of his favorites.
Beef jerkey
Cheez-Its (his fave)
Combos
Oreos
Popcorn
Some Italian candy
Balloons
A birthday card with 5 euros inside telling him to go buy some birthday gelato :)
a Memory card with a birthday message from me.
And of course, a long letter.
Also, I made a shirt that says, "This is My P-day Shirt" that I thought was pretty funny. It also has a little message on the inside of the shirt. I used fabric paint and painted a heart right where his heart would be when he wears it. On the inside of the heart I painted "Your Desiree" because he has my heart :)
And last but not least, this tie that I made before I left :)
I know he's gonna love it if the Italian mail system ever decides to let the package show up at the mission home. Keepin' my fingers crossed.
ALSO
I celebrated his birthday even though we couldn't physically be together :)
Only one more birthday away from each other until we'll be together for all of our many birthdays to come :)
Yes, I'm still alive. Just in case any of you were wondering. I realized I haven't blogged in forever. But I have a good excuse (kind of) I promise.
I moved to Italy June 5th and have been going, going, going non stop since then. I'm working here for the summer as a tutor/camp counselor at English camps all over Italy, and will be moving to Austria next week until August 13th. But that's besides the point :) I've just been so busy. Today is the first day in a month and a half that I've had time to sit down and relax. I haven't even had time to send Jared letters. Yeah, it's sad. We've been communicating primarily through email. But honestly, I really miss getting/sending letters.
I have so much I should update, so many stories and experiences I could share, but that would turn into a massive novel I know none of you would read, lets be honest. So I'll stick with the important stuff.
Jared had his first baptism on June 1st and was asked to be the one to perform the baptism. He was beyond excited :)
Teaching English over here in Italy has done wonders for making time pass. Not only is time going by quickly, but I've learned and grown so much just by living here. The only downside is that I haven't been able to attend church because my host families don't like driving far distances and the churches are always far away :( But there's always a positive way to look at a situation. I have realized the importance of attending church every single week, and how big of a blessing it is. I will never take it for granted again.
Call me a little 13 year old girl, but I love Cody Simpson's music, and this song has been on repeat recently. "Wherever you are, no matter how far, I promise that I won't give up on you. They say 'out of sight' means 'out of mind' but that couldn't be further from the truth, because I'm in love with you. I'm still in love with you. Even if there is an ocean keeping your heart from mine, that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you all of the time. I'm counting the days till I see you, and somewhere I know that you are too" He gets us MG's ;)
Yesterday we hit 4 MONTHS DOWN! I can't believe it :) The first three went so slow, but the fourth just flew by. And what better place to celebrate than Venice, Italy? :) I am seriously so blessed to be having this much fun while he's gone. I'm living my dreams and couldn't be happier with everything in my life :) Waiting isn't about "waiting" It's about growing, changing, becoming, having fun, traveling, making friends, fulfilling callings, working, developing hobbies and skills and ultimately, becoming who Heavenly Father knows you can become through righteous living.
Overall, I am so happy, and loving life. Jared is amazing. So dedicated to the work, I've never heard him complain, and he is loving the people. He writes the most loving emails, along with amazing stories and spiritual experiences. He never breaks the rules, and he's just basically the perfect missionary :) I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend/missionary. I couldn't have asked for a better experience in my life. Waiting is hard, but amazing at the same time. We're both growing so much and I've seen it bless our relationship tremendously. Basically, I got this :) 4 down, 20 to go!
I decided that I'm randomly going to start doing throwback Thursdays here on my blog.
(yaayyyy)
This is the second to last video we spontaneously recorded before he left. We were trying to act as each other. So, I was saying stuff Jared would always say, and he was saying stuff that I always say. Ignore the fact that we're just really weird people..
This is the very first video I ever made of Jared and I together. Half the videos were taken before we even started dating. The second song in the video pretty accurately describes how I was feeling at the time. This video also contains our first "on screen" kiss. HA, I totally laugh at it now but I was sooooo nervous to kiss him in front of the camera. You can see at 2:46 that he kinda says, "Forget the camera is even there" Oh good times. These are the good ole days here. So these are over a year old, all filmed in Hawaii.
Thanks for reading/watching :) Come on, you know you enjoyed it. Sometimes I go through and watch all these old videos on days when I'm really missing him. Videos have been my life saver.
It's this time of year again. The time when flowers bloom, the grass turns green again, and missionaries get to call/skype home for Mothers Day! :)
Jared's family is amazing and invited me over to be there when Jared would be Skyping them. Mothers Day was on Sunday, but he said he'd be calling on Saturday (May 11th). I woke up so early that morning, I was too excited to sleep any longer. It's like it was the airport phone call all over again, but even better! I got ready, tried to look as cute as I could, and rushed over to their house at 9:30am. I brought my laptop because his mom didn't have skype. When I got there, I gave his mom a little gift I made. I messed around on Photoshop and created this little gem.
Right as I turned on my laptop and signed into Skype, Jared was online and my heart started pounding :) I messaged him and said...
At this point, I had MAJOR butterflies. Knowing he was about to call. I was about to see his handsome face. I was about to hear his voice. Talking to me.. Looking at me... I was just about ready to pass out :)
He called and got to talk for an hour and a half! :) For the most part we all just sat in front of the computer and talked about his mission. I seriously loved every second. Getting to hear about his mission is my favorite thing to hear. I love hearing about his experiences, the members, his investigators, the food, etc... It was really nice though because at the end, his mom let me talk to him :) Just seeing/hearing him say, "Hey Beautiful! I've missed you!" was worth these two months apart. And I know that seeing him again after two years will have made the whole wait worth it :) And as you can tell.. We were both pretty happy :)
Here's just a little clip of our conversation when we were saying bye :(
You know that awkward "We need to say bye but we don't want to.. so we're just going to sit here and drag out saying bye as long as we can" type of feeling.
It was also really nice talking to him because he gave me great advice about Italy and what to expect when I go there (In 21 days!!) Apparently I need to watch out for the Italian men. Yay.... Anyway! I am so grateful his family let me be a part of this :) My waiting battery is officially recharged and now I can't wait till Christmas! What? I didn't say Christmas.. I'm not already counting down till he gets to skype again. Psh, what kind of crazy person do you think I am? ;)
Girls, today was the big day. The day Jared got to call from the airport! :)
I'd by lying if I said I wasn't totally freaking out. I seriously could not sleep last night. I woke up at 5:14, 6:30, 7:02, 7:15, 7:45 and my alarm finally went off at 7:55. I guess you could say I was like a child on Christmas Eve. The stressful thing was that I had to spend my morning studying for a geology final. My final started at 11:00 and his plane was scheduled to leave at 11:15 so I was hoping he'd call me before my test. I was freaking out because by 10:30 he still hadn't called me. Apparently Heavenly Father is still trying to teach me patience. Basically.. Just watch this video and you'll see :)
We only got to talk for three minutes because there were so many missionaries who still needed to call their families. But it didn't matter, just hearing his voice tell me he loved me was all I needed to hear :) I'm just so excited that he'll finally be in Italy! I feel like these past six weeks he hasn't even really been on a mission. I feel like the mission really beings when they start teaching :) I can't wait to hear stories about the people, culture, investigators, his mission president, the wards, the members, and the FOOD! I know he's going to put his whole heart and soul into serving the people of Italy. He already has such a deep love for them and he's not even there yet <3
Like I mentioned, he left this morning at 11:15 and flew to Chicago where he arrived at 3:15 their time, and then he had a flight to London at 5:15. So as I type this, he's flying over the ocean and will land in London at 6:50am and then he'll have one more flight leaving at 8:35 for Rome where he'll arrive at 12:05pm :) He's going to be one tired missionary.
I just love him so much and can't wait to begin the next part of our best two years :)
These two songs are probably my absolute favorite songs for a long distance relationship.
They're seriously perfect <3 The artist here is "Us" aka, Carissa and Michael. They're married and probably the cutest couple ever. Before they were married, they were in a long distance relationship, which is why these songs are perfect for a missionary girlfriend :)
This one is called "Near or Far" (my personal favorite)
Lyrics:
I'm here, you're there But your love is with me everywhere I go This I know I'm near, you're far Driving away in your little car But my love will follow you everywhere
Best believe I'll make mistakes But love won't stop, it has no breaks
Strong is what we are whenever we're apart I'll be right where you are, I'm in your heart So don't you worry about a thing, or all the miles in between You have my heart, you had it from the start I love you from afar...
I hear them say That what we have may fade away but I refuse We'll never lose They say It's a case of the honeymoon phase but I just smile Cause I know this will last a while
Understand you'll make mistakes But love won't stop, it has no breaks
Strong is what we are whenever we're apart I'll be right where you are, I'm in your heart So don't you worry about a thing, or all the miles in between You have my heart, you had it from the start I love you from afar or near And everywhere I know that you will still be there Deep inside my heart... Inside my heart...
Strong is what we are whenever we're apart I'll be right where you are, I'm in your heart So don't you worry about a thing or all the miles in between You have my heart, you had it from the start I love you from afar...
This one is called, "Missin' You Like Crazy"
Lyrics:
When we're not together, I think about you all the time
I keep your picture in my wallet to remind me that you're mine
Life is not worth livin' unless you're right here by my side
I'll love you now and forever and until the day I die
Tired of being alone, calling you on the phone
I'd rather have you here with me
La la la la la la la la
Hey baby, I'm missin' you like crazy
La la la la la la la la
Hey baby, I'm missin' you like crazy
These arms they feel so empty without you here inside
This heart it can't do nothin' without your love supply
Your lips are so delicious, the sweetest ones I've found
These lips they get no lovin' when you're not around
Tired of being alone, calling you on the phone
I'd rather have you here with me
La la la la la la la la
Hey baby, I'm missin' you like crazy
La la la la la la la la
Hey baby, I'm missin' you like crazy
Just me and my morning coffee, thinkin' bout how you got me
Inside your heart, wherever you are
Baby now don't you worry, I'll come runnin' to you in a hurry
When you reappear, I'll be waiting here and I'll be singin'…
La la la la la la la la
Hey baby, I'm missin' you like crazy
La la la la la la la la
Hey baby, I'm missin' you like crazy
Mmmm, I'm missin' you like crazy
Mmmm, I'm missin' you like crazy
Lastly, this one is called, "I Will Wait For You"
Lyrics:
Everything was fine the way it was Normal and ordinary Then there was you, so randomly too And now you're staring at me
No one can choose who they fall for Or when the fall, or how they fall, or why I, well I fell for you and I must wait it's only a matter of time
I will wait for you my darling and I will wait for you
Oooh Oooh
Everything was cool the way it was Just me, my thoughts, and I and then there was you, so randomly too the way that you walked by
No one can choose who they fall for Or when the fall, or how they fall, or why I, well I fell for you and I must wait it's only a matter of time
I will wait for you my darling and I will wait for you I will wait for you my darling and I will wait for you
No, No I don't fall in love No I can't fall in love It's much too complicated Having tried it before I don't need it anymore So I thought, So I thought, So I thought
I will wait for you my darling and I will wait for you I will wait for you my darling and I will wait for you
They're seriously perfect, right? :) Go check out their YouTube channel to see more adorable videos and songs.
Sometimes I have nights where I just sit here and think, "I'm so blessed, and so lucky to have Jared in my life." I thought I knew what true love was. But I honestly didn't know this level of love existed until I met Jared. For me, true love is when you can look at the person and just know that you love them, no matter what. Having no doubts, just knowing that your love for the person is stronger than anything else. Is true love perfect? Of course not. I used to think that love was about always being happy together and never arguing. While dating Jared, I realized I was wrong. Do we argue? Yes. But you know what? It makes us stronger. Jared challenges me. I used to think that maybe our personalities didn't match up. I realized though that our personalities didn't have to be perfect together. He challenges my weaknesses and helps me grow. The best kind of love is the kind that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.
I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. Not once have I ever felt embarrassed for being, well, me. As a matter of fact, he specifically loves the things about me that I used to try and hide. I can be hyper in front of him, I can cry when dogs die in movies, I don't have to worry about upsetting him by pulling out my camera to film him every 10 minutes, I can even dance in front of him (I'm a terrible dancer. Seriously). Jared builds me up unlike anyone ever has. I've never felt so confident in myself as I do when I'm around Jared. And let's be honest, I've a very needy person. I'm overly sensitive, emotional beyond belief, and super needy. Basically everything a good girlfriend shouldn't be. In past relationships I found myself constantly doing for them, what I secretly wished they were doing for me. I realized that sometimes I'd expect more from others because I'd be willing to do that much for them. But with Jared, I don't "expect" anything. The way we show each other love is so perfect. He loves me in ways that I feel loved, and I love him in ways that I know he feels loved. For example, he takes hundreds of pictures with me. He'll stay up at night with me and we'll just talk, for hours and cuddle. He'll randomly buy my flowers and chocolate. We'll slow dance to absolutely no music. He'll tell me every time he sees me without makeup, how beautiful he thinks I am. It was just the little things that make me feel so loved. But ultimately, he respects me. He is always a gentleman, and he's a worthy Priesthood holder. And that's what I love more than anything.
I just love so much about that boy. It's kind of ridiculous :)
I love his testimony and desire to serve the Lord and keep the commandments.
I love that I know he's going to be a wonderful dad someday. He's so good with kids :)
I love that he's a hopeless romantic. Maybe even more so than I am <3
I love that he's not the least bit controlling. When you truly love someone, you don't try to control them.
I love that he is ambitious. He has so many goals, hopes and dreams.
I love that he would start random spontaneous water gun fights with me outside the cafeteria in Hawaii <3
I love that he reads Dr. Seuss books to me when I'm not feeling well :)
I love that sometimes he'd tuck me in and tell me bedtime stories :)
I love that he genuinely becomes interested in stuff that I'm interested in. (i.e. Pretty Little Liars, Taylor Swift, filming videos, etc..)
I love that he's so talented. Guitar, cooking, snowboarding, singing, writing songs, long boarding, surfing, dancing, etc..
I love that we both eat the entire sunflower seed, including the shell :)
I love how well he understands and knows me. He just gets me :)
I love that whenever we make cookies, he saves me a little dough, puts it in a bag, and puts it in the fridge for me to eat later :)
I love that he's opinionated. We can discuss/debate about anything. Politics, beliefs, parenting tactics, or simply our opinions of a movie we recently watched.
I love that he's outgoing. Unlike me. He's everything I'm not :)
I love that he'd come over to visit me at 12:45am after getting off work, driving 15 minutes one way to drop a friend off, then driving 25 minutes the opposite direction just to hug me for 5 minutes, and then 20 minutes back home.
I love that he'll randomly stand up in the middle of a movie, leave the room, and come back 5 minutes later and sits a bowl of popcorn in my lap. He just knows me so well :)
I love that he holds my hand during prayers.
I love that he stands up for me.
I love that he wears purple just because he knows it's my favorite color.
I love that we do pinky promises <3
I love that he has always been so patient with me. Whenever I had doubts about our relationship, he never gave up on me.
I love that he's excited to adopt a little girl from China someday <3
I love that when I know he's having anxiety, or is just stressed out, all I have to do is pull him close and hug him.
I love that we did FHE together, just us :)
I love that he's the only person who can make me feel this way <3
I love that he is my best friend. The person I can tell everything to. The person who will pull the hair out of my eyes when I cry, and wipe away my tears. He's the person who will stand there and wrap his arms around me to let me know he's there for me and never letting go. He's the one who will call me in the middle of the night just to tell me he loves me. He's the person I can have fun doing anything with. Whether it's surfing in Hawaii, or laying on my couch just talking. We still have just as much fun and enjoy being with each other no matter what we're doing.
I'm so grateful for his decision to serve a mission and serve the Lord for these two years. I'm grateful to know that a love like this doesn't just go away, or change. It's something that will continue to grow stronger the longer we are apart. I know that to be true because it already has :) Basically.. I love Jared Lee Burnham. Basically, this is how I feel.
I always knew that Jared would most likely not be allowed to email me at all during his mission. At least, that's what I tried to prepare myself for. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Low and behold, I woke up on the morning of his first pday in the MTC and his name popped up with an email from him! I totally freaked out :D
How lucky am I that the week he entered the MTC is the week they changed the rules about emailing? I feel so blessed :) I'm so proud of Jared. He's been in the MTC for 3 weeks now and is working so hard on learning the language and how to be a missionary. He's one of the most dedicated and hard working people I know. He's so obedient and follows all the rules. I know that being an obedient missionary will bless him in ways I can't even describe.
On his second pday, I got his email in the morning and was happy about it :) Little did I know that I'd receive another email from him at 5:00! I was so surprised :) It's little things like that just totally make my day. Apparently he didn't use up all of his time in the morning and got to use the rest of it at 5:00.
I was super excited this past week to tell him that I'll be living in Italy this summer :) He had no idea that I applied or anything. I asked him in a Dear Elder how he would feel if I did apply, and this is what he said,
"I think you should definitely go
to Italy if that is what you want to do. I mean, why not?! How cool
would it be if we both could at least speak some Italian when I got back?
And I know you love Italy and you love teaching...It's the perfect combination
:D Just follow your dreams Desiree. Although, I am so glad you still
asked for my opinion. That makes me very happy to know that we are still that
close and you still consider me your closest and best friend...because you are
definitely mine! :D :D"
<3
Now I feel even better about spending my summer working in Italy. I love that he's supportive and wants me to follow my dreams no matter what. That's just one of the many things I love about him :) To sum things up, he's loving it in the MTC but can't wait to finally start teaching in Italy. We're both happy and we love receiving letters from each other :)
I've been accepted to work in Italy and Austria all summer long. And get paid to do so.
Is this really happening? Is this real life?
I woke up 2 days ago to this email:
I'll get to spend my summer traveling every two weeks to different English camps throughout Italy and Austria. I'll be an English tutor working with kids from 7 - 14 years old. I'll be living with host families, and learning the language as much as I can :) Along with eating all their food... :)
Before Jared left on his mission, I told him I needed to get out and travel while he's gone. Then all of a sudden one day, the idea came to me. "Go work at a summer camp in Europe" So I started my research. Jared knew I was thinking about this as a possibility and totally supported it.
I know all you MG's will say,
"Are you crazy? Why are you going to the same country your missionary is serving in? What if you run into him? Won't you wanna see him? Won't that be too hard?"
But to them I say this: I have seriously been obsessed with both Italy and Austria ever since I was 10 years old. I was living in Virginia and an RM from Italy spoke in my home ward. That was the first time I'd ever heard an Italian accent. Since that day forward, I've come to love everything Italian. I used to tell my mom that I wanted to marry an Italian, I wanted to grow up and live in Italy, I wanted to go to BYU because they had Italian, unlike most schools, I would download Italian music, I would beg for Rosetta Stone in Italian, I have tons of books about Italy, etc.. Which is why the fact that Jared got called to serve his mission there blows my mind. Also, I do NOT want to see him while I'm there. And the chances of us just running into each other are so slim. It's not that small of a country. I have self control :) I'm not going to hunt him down. What girl in her right mind would want to do that? It would be distracting to the missionary, and I wouldn't get to hug him, so what's the point?
I just couldn't be more excited :) I don't know where I'll be for all the camps, but I know I'll be spending my first week in Assisi. Take a look at this beautiful place:
I'm seriously dying over here. I'm so grateful for this amazing opportunity. It gets even better because my sister Paris has also been accepted and will be coming with me! :)
I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've had to travel and grow within the last two years. I have lived in China, Hawaii and soon, Italy and Austria. Traveling for work or volunteer/service work is such a wonderful thing to do while you're missionary is gone. It helps you grow and develop as a person, and also makes time fly by :) So if you get an opportunity, don't be afraid to take it. Don't be afraid to do the things you never thought you'd be able to do. Most people would say, "How cool would be to get a summer job in Italy?" but they never really do anything about it. DO IT!
Just two short months and I'll be able to call Italy "home" :)
