I've realized something lately. You know how people will say, "Don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes" or something like, "Don't judge me until you're put in my exact situation"? Well, I think that's still wrong. People should just try to judge. period. Every single person is different. Everyone has different experiences. And even if someone walked a mile in their shoes, they'd still act differently because they aren't them. Sometimes people do things that even they don't understand. Sometimes things go "wrong" so that Heavenly Father can put it back together the way it's supposed to be.
I used to judge other girls easily. Terrible fault of mine. I'm trying to get better. I think Heavenly Father has been teaching me this lesson. Because I realized a year ago if I would have looked at myself now, I would have been like, "What the heck? That's not me... What am I doing?" I would have judged myself. It goes to show that we never know what other people go through, and what makes them the way they are today. Even if we think we know, we usually don't.
^^ We never know the story of what other people go through because we really only see what they are willing to show us. Usually there is so much more. That's something I've been trying to remember.
We all struggle. We all go through trials. We are always growing and learning from our experiences. It's so easy to sit back and say, "Oh look at her. She's making a mistake. She's doing the wrong thing. Doesn't she know better?" But we have NO idea why they are experiencing what they are experiencing and what they need to learn from it. Even when we make mistakes, we learn from them. We wouldn't learn if we were always perfect. It was a real eye opener to sit back and look at my life, to see where I would judge myself. Which is why I'm trying to never be as judgmental as I used to be.
p.s. It's a good day :) Be happy :) there's always something to be happy about :)
I've gotten some of you upset by posting stuff about Jared. Although my blog is titled "Diary of a Missionary Girlfriend" I have now learned that you don't want to read about it from a diary point of view. This blog was supposed to be dedicated to my journey through the 2 years while my missionary is gone. Everything that happens. The good, the bad, the trying times, the good times, and everything in between. But because I have upset some of you, I'll refrain from posting about Jared. I'll keep this blog about my normal life and anything missionary related to Preston and our journey (Which means I probably won't be posting much because he's been acting very difficult lately). I have created a separate blog where I will talk about Jared, how it was to be dating, and stuff like that. Don't worry, I'll keep this blog updated :)
I started this blog as a personal diary for myself. I didn't know so many girls would start reading it. If I have helped any of you out in any way, I'm so glad I could help. Being a MG is such a hard thing to be. No matter what girls, never give up on what you know is right for you. If you know with all your heart that your missionary if the one for you, never give up. If you know that waiting and dating is what's right for you, then do it. Don't let anyone tell you what is right for you, other than Heavenly Father. And with that, you'll never go wrong :)
(Warning: This post is not about me waiting for my missionary, so if you are looking for those posts, scroll down a little. This is something a little different) <3
Jared is my boyfriend while I'm waiting with 9 months to go.
I know all of you are "team Preston" but since Jared has become a part of my waiting process, I thought I'd include him with one post dedicated to him.
He really has supported me with waiting. He's such a sweetheart, and has been a wonderful blessing.
We've been dating 2 months today. He leaves on his mission sometime in the near future, so I don't know what will happen. But since this blog is supposed to be a diary of my wait, I just had to include Jared. Because he's become a wonderful part of my wait.
So I thought to myself, "Now that I'm not studying like a mad person... What should I do?"
And the idea popped into my head.
So here I am :) I'm going to throw a lot of random ideas and thoughts at you. Probably a little venting too. But here we go.
This has been one of my favorite songs. Cody is adorable and if you haven't listened to him yet, you totally should. Just sayin'
Speaking of beaches (ok well we weren't talking about beaches, but I just watched Cody's video and there is a beach in it, so I got the thought of beaches in my head. Anyway..)
Me and my roomie who is leaving for the summer got our pictures taken at our beach the other day.
I never wanna leave this place.
Preston sent me this picture during our email chat on Monday. He's still the same Preston he's always been :) And he's wearing the BYUH shirt I sent him.. hehe :)
So, I really don't have that many baby names picked out. But ever since the first time I saw A Walk To Remember, I've always wanted to name my first son Landon. And I'm seriously going to. Preston is ok with it :) But now, I've decided on my second favorite boy name. Are you ready? It's...
I just love it. And of course, my inspiration came from....
Although I'm "team peeta" I have always loved Liam Hemsworth, ever since The Last Song.
And my next inspiration came from Liam Payne. Ya'll know One Direction, right? Of course you do. Well, I think Liam is just freaking adorable. I kinda like him a lot.
Speaking of One Direction. I'm sure you've all heard What Makes You Beautiful. It's an amazing song. If you haven't listened to it yet, go do it now. But i also loooooove their song "One Thing" and think the music video is quite cute.
p.s. I love the way they dress.
Ok, moving on.. :)
I think I'm ready for another change in my life. I've been a pretty big fan of change every since Preston left. He's been gone 14 months and out of that 14 months I've only lived at home for 6 months of it. I like change :) So here's what I'm thinking.
I wanna dye my hair.
I've been blonde forever.. I look the EXACT same that I did two years ago. It's time to mix things up. I'm thinking this color might be cool... :)
Thoughts? Comments??? :)
Also, while we're on the topic of "change" I've really really been thinking about going back with ILP to Head Teach in Lithuania summer 2013. Yeah... That's the summer after Preston gets home. And I know I'll want to spend every second with him. But for those of you who really know me, you know I have this appetite for traveling. I love it. I've always wanted to live in Europe too.
How could I pass up an opportunity to live in Europe for 4 months for FREE?
I literally wouldn't have to pay anything.
Plus, they'd give me money to spend while I'm there
Plus, I'd get to visit places like Sweden, Latvia, Poland, Finland, Ukraine, Estonia.. etc..
Plus, I'd get to be around little kids :) (my FAVORITE!)
Plus, it'd look good on my resume, seeing as i'm majoring in Elementary Ed.
Plus, It's the same type of place where Preston is serving. Hungary wouldn't be too far away.
It looks beautiful to me :)
Anyway, I think this post is long enough now.
To those of you who read it, thank you for listening to my random rambling.
Only one semester left until Preston is home. CRAZY!!!
I love life and everything Heavenly Father has been blessing me with. I really am SUCH a lucky girl. I'd like to close this post with this quote that I've been trying to live by:
I am so sorry that I completely fell off the face of the planet during the last 2 months. I used to be so good at blogging. But lately my life has been insanely busy. I do a lot of homework, yes. But when I'm not doing homework, I go to the beach or something. Sorry.
I guess you could say I have a lot of explaining to do. But, I'll make it simple:
I prayed. And I got the answer that after a year of not even looking at other guys, it's time to date.
I dated some guys. It didn't really work out.
I was about to give up on dating, but then I met Jared.
He had a girlfriend back home in Utah, and I had a missionary, but we were both living on a little island out in the middle of the ocean.
So we decided to date.
Him and his girlfriend kinda fell apart (NOT my fault)
Then I changed my relationship status on facebook and the whole world fell apart. It's crazy how people react to a little change in relationship status. He never asked me to be his girlfriend or anything like that. But everyone here on campus knew we loved spending time together and whatnot, so we decided to be together.
So yes, now he is my boyfriend.
Yes, Preston is still my missionary.
Yes, I am still waiting for him.
I still write him every week.
I send him packages.
I email him.
I love him <3
But I've only ever dated Preston. I know that I have something to learn from being in this relationship with Jared.
And I'll get kinda personal here for a second. I'm so excited to get married. But unlike most of you, I'm so scared of it. I am so freaked out to get married. There have just been so many happy marriages in my life that have ended in divorce. I guess you could say I just haven't had the best example (my parents are a good example, it's just other relationships) And I know that if I ever want to feel 100% ready to get married, I will have to have explored all options. I didn't want Preston to get home, and then we get engaged and had the "what if... What if I would have dated on his mission and fell for someone else?" I know, I know. What a terrible thing to even think. But my Heavenly Father knows me. He knows that I need to date, and get that feeling of, "Yeah, Preston really is the one for me". I've always known he's the one, but I am young, and constantly changing, so I need to continue to get that feeling. So please, don't judge the reasons why I'm dating. I've had to deal with waiter-haters but I really don't want dater-haters :( I love all you girls. Just know that I'm doing the best thing for me.
I am soooo happy with my life right now. School is going swimmingly, I love living in Hawaii, I get to walk past the temple every day, Jared is wonderful and treats me amazing, Preston is my missionary who I will NEVER give up on. I'll be there at that airport on January 18th :) and I have an amazing family back home who loves me.
Sorry for the long post. I guess I just want to let you know that I am still waiting!!
I'm just focusing on me right now :) I want to be a better person for him when he gets home. Dating has been hard to get used to, but I know it's right.
I love all you girls and I don't know where I'd be without you :)