I'm Still Waiting :)

I am so sorry that I completely fell off the face of the planet during the last 2 months. I used to be so good at blogging. But lately my life has been insanely busy. I do a lot of homework, yes. But when I'm not doing homework, I go to the beach or something. Sorry. 

I guess you could say I have a lot of explaining to do. But, I'll make it simple:

• I prayed. And I got the answer that after a year of not even looking at other guys, it's time to date.
• I dated some guys. It didn't really work out.
• I was about to give up on dating, but then I met Jared.
• He had a girlfriend back home in Utah, and I had a missionary, but we were both living on a little island out in the middle of the ocean. 
• So we decided to date.
• Him and his girlfriend kinda fell apart (NOT my fault)
• Then I changed my relationship status on facebook and the whole world fell apart. It's crazy how people react to a little change in relationship status. He never asked me to be his girlfriend or anything like that. But everyone here on campus knew we loved spending time together and whatnot, so we decided to be together. 
• So yes, now he is my boyfriend. 
• Yes, Preston is still my missionary.
• Yes, I am still waiting for him.
• I still write him every week.
• I send him packages.
• I email him.
• I love him <3

But I've only ever dated Preston. I know that I have something to learn from being in this relationship with Jared.

And I'll get kinda personal here for a second. I'm so excited to get married. But unlike most of you, I'm so scared of it. I am so freaked out to get married. There have just been so many happy marriages in my life that have ended in divorce. I guess you could say I just haven't had the best example (my parents are a good example, it's just other relationships) And I know that if I ever want to feel 100% ready to get married, I will have to have explored all options. I didn't want Preston to get home, and then we get engaged and had the "what if... What if I would have dated on his mission and fell for someone else?" I know, I know. What a terrible thing to even think. But my Heavenly Father knows me. He knows that I need to date, and get that feeling of, "Yeah, Preston really is the one for me". I've always known he's the one, but I am young, and constantly changing, so I need to continue to get that feeling. So please, don't judge the reasons why I'm dating. I've had to deal with waiter-haters but I really don't want dater-haters :( I love all you girls. Just know that I'm doing the best thing for me.

I am soooo happy with my life right now. School is going swimmingly, I love living in Hawaii, I get to walk past the temple every day, Jared is wonderful and treats me amazing, Preston is my missionary who I will NEVER give up on. I'll be there at that airport on January 18th :) and I have an amazing family back home who loves me. 

Sorry for the long post. I guess I just want to let you know that I am still waiting!!

I'm just focusing on me right now :) I want to be a better person for him when he gets home. Dating has been hard to get used to, but I know it's right.

<3

I love all you girls and I don't know where I'd be without you :)